LONG TIME

Dear Bilbo BLOGGINS.....
Almost as depressing as the supposed break-up of Hollywood's golden couple, Heidi and Spencer (sadly enough this is the only news we've heard in the past 72 hours), is the fact that this will be our first BLOG in nearly 3 weeks.

Where do we begin?

Let us start with a briefing on our current status. After departing from Lamu, we stayed for two and one half weeks in Mombasa, with host families. We spent two days on the mainland of Tanzania, more specifically the cities of Tanga and Dar es Salaam, and now we are on the island of ZANZIBAR.... We know you are singing Jack Black in your head right now, and we think that's entirely appropriate.

MOMBASA, which actually sounds a lot like Mufasa, just some food for thought...
And now we will ask you to please close your eyes and imagine a herd of new born naked mole rats adorned with hair extensions and ankle length skirts walking off the plane and into the arms of our host familes... Needless to say they have been crazy about us ever since. You can open your eyes now.

Elan's family lived about a twenty minute walk away from school right across from the hospital (key) in a neighborhood called Kizingo. She had a 20 year old r and b singing brother, a 19 year old sister, a 12 year old sister, a 10 year old brother, and a 2 year old sister. Highlights of the homestay included french fries for breakfast, lunch and dinner, some bonding experiences at the hospital, candlelight dinners with my host brother and Cher, and attending five weddings in a hot pink tie dyed mumu and leopard print head scarf. Try your best not to be too jealous. (We really need to figure out how to upload pictures.) For her viewing pleasure, on the Kenyan version of One Saturday Morning, Elan experienced possibly the greatest work of cartoon genius ever created. We give you: THE SILVER BRUMBY. Why this show hasn't yet made it to America, we are still pondering and lamenting. Let us ask you to close your eyes for a second time and imagine the Australian outback minus the kangaroos, and plus a herd of stampeding unicorns complete with Australian accents and flowing silver manes, and you have The Silver Brumby. You may open your eyes. Don't worry if this vision of beauty has caused one sparkling tear to trickle down your cheek. It is entirely natural. Elan couldn't stop crying for a week. The episode Elan saw was titled "Wombat in Trouble", but thanks to the Silver Brumby, no more wombats will ever wombat around fear again. Thank you, Silver Brumby.

Molly's family lived about an hour walk away from the school and in one of the shadier areas of Mombasa, but in the nicest house in town! ( the exclamation point stays...) She lived with we think about five families, all we know is that she had a minimum of four aunties, one uncle, one grandpa (who always asked her why she wasn't married), like six cousins, four siblings, one bed-mate, two goats, and a partridge in a pear tree. Her family was the greatest ever, and was really helpful when we got sick.. even though Molly is pretty sure they were more concerned about Elan's low white blood cell count especially when they said "but she is so white, how could she be lacking so many white blood cells?" Molly shared a bed a couple nights over the course of her homestay, and would occasionally wake up spooning her 22 year old cousin, which was not awkward at all, until we had one naked encounter, which really changed the bed dynamics, but we have worked it through. The goats were actually the most terrifying thing to walk the streets of Mombasa, they escaped a few times which sent the whole family into a hectic and epic chase, but don't worry, citizens, the goats are safe inside our stomachs now... For Molly's viewing pleasure, BOLLYWOOD! Let us take you on another visual journey(now would be the time to close your eyes once again) through space and time, into the far away land of the Indian version of Little Orphan Annie, complete with knife wounds, massive black braids, chorus lines, and death by amusment park. It is ok if have started crying again, it really is beautiful. You may open your eyes once more.

Now that you have successfully completed "Homestays 101" we feel it is time to move into "Lectures 607"- six hours a day, seven days a week. We wish we could say more but our eyes are still glazed and we are currently experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.

After Mombasa, we moved on to TANZANIA.. on a bus that was probably the love child of the
"Hooters and Fanta airline" and Freddie Mercury, who coincidently was born in Zanzibar, our current location. This love child featured a horn that we have reason to believe is the standard mating call for all hyphy buses in the greater metropolitan area of Mombasa all the way down the coast to Dar es Salaam, as well as seats that were decorated with drawings that looked like flying saucers, fish eyes, and every flavor of doritos this world has ever seen. If you have been to the bathroom in Taco Bell, you know exactly what we're talking about. Our first stop along the mating channel was Tanga, where thousands of massive flying dinosaur bugs met their end on the walls and floor of Molly and Sofi's room, while Elan ran around screaming... We also visited a cave that resembled human genitalia (our tour guides words not our own), and saw a dead chicken (the result of witchcraft) and a dead deer (the result of hunting dogs, and machetes, and possibly some blow darts we really cannot be too sure). Oh and our van got stuck in the mud.

Dar (that is short hand for Dar es Salaam) featured being herded like cattle to everywhere and nowhere at the same time. MAGIC. Our only definite location for the entire stray 36 hours was SUBWAY. We are not sure if Jared would have given the two thumbs up, or if we ate the freshest, but we CAN tell you that we one-upped the 5 DOLLAR FOOTLONG, with the approximate 74 CENT FOOTLONG... try singing that! After Dar we took a two hour ferry to the island of Zanzibar. More details on ZANZIBAR later, but for now...

XOXO,
Gossip Gird Your Loins