BIG HOT MESSSSSSS....

When we started this BLOG we were sitting on an airplane on our way back from Lamu, mind you we left Lamu a week ago, however, our BLOG like a fine wine is only better after time....



Everything in the airplane is orange, including, as unfair as it may seem, the flight attendants miniskirts. If Hooters, myspace, and Fanta all joined forces to start an airline THIS WOULD BE IT!



LOST and FOUND in translation.

Here are some conversations we've had that may be the answers to the world's greatest questions, OR they may be the reasons why we were all confused in the first place, the jury is still out so we'll let you be the judge.



Scenario 1: TRUTLE MIDWIFERY

Not the most obvious of professions, but a noble one none the less. One night on the beach a weathered sea captain explained to us the ancient art of being a turtle midwife. After being shown, through extensive diagrams drawn in the sand....(Put the food here....here...there...and a little back here...) we can proudlysay if there was a struggling turtle in labor we could rise to the occasion and deliver an astounding preformance of turtle midwifery.

Scenario 2: Did you eat chicken for breakfast?

This morning before boarding the plane a man asked Molly if she had eaten chicken for breakfast. This is exactly how the conversation progressed:

Man: Did you eat chicken for breakfast?

Molly: No, I had mahamri

Man: Oh, because you are sweating a lot....

And that was it. We think this means that if you eat chicken, especially during the early hours of the day, you are likely to sweat profusely for the rest of the day which is especially disconcerting
to those of us who can no longer wear deoderant (see awkward health issues).

Scenario 3: 800 KILOMETERS

Running in Kenya is no joke. One day when Elan and Will were standing on the beach and a man ran up to them basically yelled in their faces... I AM RUNNING.....I AM RUNNING 800 KILOMETERS... then sprinted off... He only made it about maybe 100 KILOMETERS!

Scenario 4: Octapus in a bag.

The other day when we were walking down this street in Lamu, and when we say street what we really mean is a walkway about four feet wide surrounded by super tall buildings, when a man approached us and said "look into my bag!" We thought he was trying to sell us something, like candy or peanuts, but we were wrong. Before we even got close enough to look into his bag he looks up at us, with a big toothless grin and said "it's a dead octapus" and left laughing away.

Awkward health issues

1)Wills worm

2)Clogged Armpits

3) Barfing into squatty potties (looking at you Sofi)

4) Dysentary(Molly)

5) Awkward/Terrifying visits to the hospital, to find that her 104.6 degree fever was due to a low count in white bloodcells (ELAN)

6)Hundreds of mosqutio bites

7) Barfing off of boats (also ELAN)

8)Numb big toes(Molly and Alison)

9)Constipation

10) Inflamed kidneys and intestine, and a possible kidney stone (molly)

No big deal....

Were back in Mombasa now, working on our Inependent Study Projects and doing our urban homestays.... We'll try to be better at blogging!

XOXO,

Gossip Invalids

AAAYYYY!!!! parti mbili

Let us begin by telling you that this is our third attempt at writing "AAAYYYY!!!!! parti mbili". Welcome back! We're currently jazz snapping to some of the most soulful gospel music we personally have ever heard. It actually sounds like a mix between Jesus Christ superstar and a cut from Aladdin, with maybe a twist of Kenny G. If Kenny G sang, this is what he would sound like. It's a good thing Kenny G doesn't sing.

Anyway, to continue our family tree, Beth Ann is married to the father of the group, Sofi. Papa Sof is actually our guest BLOGGER today. Ironically, Sofi is possibly, and when we say possibly we mean definitely, the most feminine person in this group. The Sofinator, derived from fellow Californian and former body builder, the govenator, is also living the American Dream. Sofi resides on the father branch because she reigns over the group with a firm hand, but a weak wrist. She has never actually carried her own suitcase, cleared her own plate, or in honor of Lamu, muled the water from our academic directors home to our own. However, these weak wrists are sheathed in elbow length gloves. Everyone is blinded by love for our dearest sof, so we graciously help carry her load!

Next is our first born, Maggie. Tall and lanky with a face that could launch a thousand dhows. If she wasn't Helen of Troy she'd be Julia Styles from "10 Things I Hate About You". When she's not busy starting the war to end all wars (sorry achilles) she enjoys a glorious Backstreet Boys cut. Maggie gave us the greatest gift we could ever get, AMANDA BYNES.

Where there is a Will.... there is an infant. Let us quote a man much smarter than ourselves, and for that matter Will, when we say that will is our "fruity shampoo" scented "candle in the wind". Will may actually be the most laid back person we have literally ever met. The fact that we make him rage on a daily basis is no small feat. Will's position at being the only boy is not an easy seat to fill, however, he sits on his throne/high chair in all of his rasta glory.

Ali is from Oregon, but we tell everyone we got her from the pound. Alis is not mutt however, she is a purebred golden retriever. Absolutely loved by all, especially the African men, even when she pees on things. Most notably her own arm when she got a jellyfish sting.

It should be of no surprise to our avid readers that we have managed to solidify our places as the terrible toddler twins, with part time positions as the grand-pa (Elan) and crazy aunt (Molly). To give you a better idea of who each person is in the group we have come up with a series of more analogies.

If we were all mixed drinks:
Sofi: Cosmo
Molly: Tequila sunrise
Elan: Dirty Shirley
Ali: Pina Colada
Will: Burbon sour/ Appletini/white russian
Maggie: Rum and Coke
Beth-Ann: Bloody Mary

If we were Super Heroes
Will: Robin
Beth-Ann: Wonderwoman
Ali: Invisigirl
Sofi: Catwoman
Maggie: Yellow Power-ranger
and We would walk through life holding hands as the Hulk and Quail-man

If we were cities
Maggie: Prague
Will: Mumbai
Molly: Rio d.
Elan: the lost city of Atlantis
Ali: Sydney
Beth-Ann: Montreal
Sofi: Madrid

In current news we have actually gotten some free time which we spend on Shella (Google image it!) eating fresh mangoes, samosas, riding camels, swimming and working on our tans. It is frightening how aware you become of your own whiteness here, at first we felt very out of place, and found it very curious the way children were contantly laughing, pointing and pulling at our every limb... We assumed we had some chakula, that is swahili for food (we don't normally endorse the usage of foreign languages in a BLOG, but we think it's important to know how to say food in every language) However, that is neither here nor there, what is clear, is that it wasn't food on our face it was our face on our face.... Thus we have been working on our tans.

In a related note, the tables have turned, Molly upped her pealing sunburn count, while Elan has held strong. The score stands thus; Molly: 3 Elan:5

Push-update: Molly: 11 Elan:7

In closing, last night we were kickin it homie style as the only people in a bar smoking hookah and watching the greates cinematic adventure this world has ever seen, Miami Vice.

XOXO,
Gossip B-A-N-A-N-A-S

AAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!

So we don't have much time today, we hoped we were going to be able to post some pictures today, but alas, we couldn't figure out exactly where we saved them on the computer...so maybe tomorrow!

To compensate we would like to fill you in on a few tid-bits from around the world. A dash of background and a sprinkle of updates in our soup of an adventure.

In breaking news, we had our first couple fight....Cause: believe it or not, the BLOG! We know what you must be thinking- how could anything so beautiful ever cause anything but true harmony in the world? However, this BLOG is our blood sweat, and now literal tears. Maybe not literal, but theoretical. Here is how it went.
M: Are you done writing your e-mails?
E: Well I mean not really but we can write our BLOG now anyways.
M: Oh well I don't think we'll have enough time.
E: No, we'll totally have enough time, I'll just sign-off my computer and we can start the BLOG.
M:No, you should finish your e-mails.
E:No, it's really ok.
ETC.
EARTH SHAKING!
So now that you have gotten a glimpse of our anger, we would like to smoothly segue into the theme of this week...RAGE

Inspired by our dearest bloodhound and supposed guest BLOGGER Will Stamell... or more fondly known as the RAGING WILIKISTER. In reminder, that is pronounced WILL-A-KEESTER or KEESTAH depending on mood and preference. Poor Raging Wilikister is trapped everyday with us in Swahili class for four straight hours, which really could evoke rage within even the most tranquil of individuals, so we really do not blame him. After such torment, Wiikister has been known to exit in a blind rage screaming KWA HIVYO, KWAHERI, haphazardly over his shoulder. In english that translates as follows; THEREFORE, GOODBYE! In case you were wondering.

We figure it is only right to describe the other poor individuals who were handed the unfair fate of sharing this trip with us. OOFTAH, or in the words of our wonderful swahili teacher, Anne... A-Waaaaaoooooowwww....
We decided a series of analogies would be the best possible way to do this.
If our group was a family, Beth-Ann would most certainly be the mother. Yesterday alone, she sunscreened our backs 20 seperate times, singlehandedly built a palm frond shelter for shade on the beach, and also managed to capture every moment on camera. We really would be lost without her. BETH-ANN for president. or in her words, World Dictator.

Well... we actually really have to go.. but we'll describe the rest of the fam tomorrow, and hopefully we'll bring some photo evidence of these people!

XOXO,
Gossip Athman