Are you there BLOG?
It's us, Molly and Elan.
So here we are in Lamu. Let us set the scene. After we left Malindi, we took some sort of combination of car, plane, and boat to get to the island of Lamu. Lamu is a small island off the coast of Kenya, and is probably the coolest place we have ever been. There is only one car on the island- an ambulance- and the only other type of transportation is donkeys. They are everywhere and definitely make the list of things that wake us up in the middle of the night. They sound like an incredibly upset asthmatic crying Rosie O'donell (sorry Rosie, we wish you the best). Last night when we were at a bar, one of the local beach boys explained to us exactly what the noises mean. He explained, and I quote, "The male donkeys, you see, don't leave the house for forty days straight. And when they finally decide to leave, they look for a girl donkey to make the donkey babies." We should have known. However, this noise occurs consistently at intervals of abuot every 20 seconds. However he also told Elan, and this is verbatim mind you, "i'll fly so high 'i'll land on your roof, pluck you out of your bed and drop you in the ocean where you will find your dolphin friend." This, of course, only lends more credibility to his donkey explanation.
Donkeys are also very much like vacuum cleaners. We were sitting in our courtyard yesterday, and two donkeys strolled through and ate every living thing in the whole 20 foot radius. Besides us.
Keeping with the theme of dysfunction, on our only free day we've had in the five days we've been here, surprise of all surprises, Elan got sick. We're not sure if it's physically possible to shit out your vital organs, but if it was, we're pretty sure that was the next step for Elan's ravaged body. While Elan puked up everything she's eaten since Kindergarten, Molly was skinny dipping in the beautiful ocean with Will and Sofi. Very culturally appropriate. Before you feel TOO sorry for Elan, however, remember that her albino flesh was still present and accounted for in the ocean, so she was there in more than just spirit. And Molly, Sofi and Will came home with seaweed trapped in their butt cracks. Or was it Elan's albino flesh? Joke's on them.
Incidentally, the night before this, in the words of our new friend Phil from New Zealand, we had a "massive" night, featuring lots of Tusker, beach boys, who are these slightly ridiculous 18-25 year old men that kick it by the beach all day and offer boat and donkey rides, gin and gingerale, and the DJ's favorite song, "Zombie" by the Cranberries- a real crowd pleaser, which strangely enough, every single person in the club knew every single lyric to. What a throwback. The disco we went to is right on the beach and is called Petley's. We went there with two other wazungu (white folk) we met on the street named Phil and Ben who we fondly refer to as Phen. Both of them donned unruly hair, man skirts, and sparkling blue eyes. It's always really shocking to see other white people here, and sometimes it's hard to know how to react. Most of the time we send Will to chase them down while we awkwardly stand and stare as though they are a rare species of butterfly. After sending out our bloodhound, Will, he arranged a playdate, and the rest is history.
It's very bizarre to get so excited to see tourists, but it has been an extremely interesting and often times trying experience trying to talk to people here especially as a white girl. Much of the coast of Kenya is Muslim, and we have learned very quickly that cultural norms here are very different. Even just wearing a tank top makes you extremely uncomfortable. Often times it is hard to tell exactly someone's intentions when they talk to you. Some people definitely genuinely want to talk and say hello, and ask you questions, however, it hasn't been uncommon for someone to talk to us for the sole purpose of getting something from us. While we realize that this really does demonstrate the real need here, it is frustrating when you're dying to actually have a real conversation and all they want is your watch. We would of course be willing to give things away to special people or friends, but it becomes hard when you feel like you're being used. That is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, thing about being here.
Fortunately, we have been able to actually get to know some really great people and have learned a lot from them. In Lamu every day we roll out of bed every day for our 7 am swahili class, and after the first hour we have breakfast. This is followed by three more hours of swahili, after which we are free until 5 pm. At 5 we hang out with our swahili tutors who are members of the community who talk to us and show us around and take us places. Molly's tutor is probably the town gossip, and basically just talks shit the whole hour and a half which is actaully really perfect for Molly. Elan's tutor works with youth groups that put on plays and do programs about HIV AIDS and other health issues. This resulted in Elan being escorted around by 30 20 year old boys her first tutor session, which was MILDLY OVERWHELMING.
In other news, we are happy to report that the cats here are slightly less mangy, however, speaking of mangy, our new favorite brand of cookie is the "Manji Marie" which proudly states on the packaging, "House of Manji- Expect Excellence."
So far Lamu has been epic. We're here for another two weeks and I'm sure we'll have plenty to add before we leave. So for now,
XOXO,
Gosspi Capes, Chaps, and Donkeys
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
BLOGI ya tatu
Hello friends and followers of our BLOG. We haven't had very much free time at all, not to mention electricity, running water, or toilet seats for the past 10 days so needless to say, our BLOG has suffered. Right now we are at a stray internet cafe in Malindi blending in with the mangy cats that roam the streets. We've come up with a list of important topics that we feel you should know about.
1. Things that wake us up in the middle of the night.
2. Traffic.
3. Number of bubbling sunburns.
4. The Taita hills, safari, and Malindi.
5. Time.
In the things that wake us up category we have screaming cats, barfing dogs, yelling mosques, yodelling roosters, and MOSQUITOS. It's been real.
Traffic. LET US. TELL YOU. It's a miracle what with Molly's deafness and Elan's blindness that we have managed to survive crossing the streets thus far. The main forms of transportation here are Matatus and Tuktuks. Matatus are basically rusting vans crammed full of people with a man hanging out the door yelling at you to GET IN THE CAR in swahili. They drive approximately 100000 miles per hour and often feature pictures of david beckham and random english sayings such as, "Let it rain", or "Three words". Tuktuks are slightly more user friendly and they are our personal favorite. They kind of look like pedicabs but they're motorized and glorious. Most of the time on the highway we have resorted to covering our eyes and praying, especially when the driver decides it's a good idea to pass a semi truck going around a blind corner on the edge of a cliff.
Enough about traffic. We are currently keeping a running tally of the number of bubbling sunburns we (specifically Elan) have received. The score stands: Molly 1, Elan 5. It also is worthy to note that there are now literally sheets of Elan's albino flesh floating in the Indian Ocean. But that is neither here nor there.
Time. How do you even say this? Time is meaningless here. Everyone is always at least a half hour if not a full hour late, and it's perfectly culturally acceptable to set up a meeting with someone and never show up. Ever. For creatures of habit like ourselves, this doesn't really always work out, but we are trying to adapt.
So, for the past two weeks we have been in Taita, Tsavo, and now, Malindi. Taita was our rural homestay, and it was interesting to say the least. Molly had three siblings: Stanley age 23, Lydia 17, and Willikister 15. For the record, that's pronounced Will- a- keester. Elan had three siblings as well: Mavu 19, notorious womanizer, Hendry 17, also notorious womanizer, and Imelda 12. Every morning we would have breakfast with our families featuring staring contests with Stanley, butter sandwiches, and the best goddamn chai this side of the mississippi. Then we would work with the townfolk building a community library. We were valuable assets to the team when they would actually let us hold a tool for more than thirty seconds. The women of the community really put us to shame when they would work for four hours with infants on their backs. After manual labor, we went to Swahili class and lunch at the Palace until about 5, when we would maybe play a little soccer and then head home for the night. The evenings featured Willikister performing hours upon hours of solo dancing and singing, awkward tv shows such as the Bold and the Beautiful, and dinner. Eating is a whole different type of sport in Taita. You eat until you feel immense amounts of pain, and then you eat some more. Elan's family attempted to bond by putting on every American dvd they owned which consisted of: "Extravagant Grace: Women of Faith", Van Damme movies, and the Teletubbies episode in which the teletubbies eat tubby custard and lala does her secret dance... five times. Needless to say, after watching that episode of Teletubbies at least three times, Elan wants the Teletubbies to feel more pain than Van Damme's victims. One of our favorite quotes of the trip thus far was when Molly was in another room and a little neighbor girl asked her family in English and I quote: "Where the white girl at?" After being told that she was sleeping, the girl responded, "THEY SLEEP?" But as the gas station attendant said, "all you white people look the same." Cultural exchange complete. The people in Taita were really great, our families were amazing and the village was incredible and one of the most beautiful places we have ever seen. We left on Sunday, and true to form, our advisor was four hours late to pick us up because they "had cooking to do."
After Taita, we drove to Tsavo, a national park the size of Israel. Our driver stayed at a steady speed of about 90 miles an hour the whole way there on dirt roads while talking on his radio. We went on safari for two days and saw elephants, water buffalo, lions, giraffes, a cheetah, ostriches, dickdicks, elands, antelopes, zebras and many birds and baboons. The one night we stayed there, was potentially one of the more eventful nights of our lives. It started with an episode straight out of the Discovery Channel. When we got there there was a dying water buffalo that had been attacked by lions the night before stuck in a watering hole. That night, about ten lions came to the watering hole to finish the deed. However, they were suprised, as were we, when the water buffalo fought back, bum leg and all. While this was going down, all of a sudden out of nowhere, a Lion King style stampede of about 200 water buffalo came to rescue their comrade. Surprise number two occurred when they decided to cut the mission short, drink some water, bellow some bellows, and peace. The highlight of the trip was later that night drinking gin and tonics and Tusker in the pool while watching the greatest lion on lion showdown we have personally ever witnessed. Tsavo was great. Amen.
En route to Malindi, we got a flat tire and decided to do some group push ups on the highway. Our goal is 20 real push ups by the end of the trip. The score stands thus: Molly 7, Elan 4. Malindi is a touristy town right on teh coast of Kenya. It has a large Italian population, and there is actually a Little Italy (bizarre, yes?) where all the vendors yell at us in Italian. In Malindi, we visited the Gede ruins of a Swahili town, and went snorkelling yesterday where Elan desposited her flesh sheets by accident. Elan also received her fifth bubbling sunburn yesterday. She actually DID apply sunscreeen, believe it or not. Albino no mo. Red fo sho. We had another drop off today, however it was entirely...something.
We are never going to take this long to update our BLOG ever again because this was painfully long.
XOXO,
Gossip mangy cat
1. Things that wake us up in the middle of the night.
2. Traffic.
3. Number of bubbling sunburns.
4. The Taita hills, safari, and Malindi.
5. Time.
In the things that wake us up category we have screaming cats, barfing dogs, yelling mosques, yodelling roosters, and MOSQUITOS. It's been real.
Traffic. LET US. TELL YOU. It's a miracle what with Molly's deafness and Elan's blindness that we have managed to survive crossing the streets thus far. The main forms of transportation here are Matatus and Tuktuks. Matatus are basically rusting vans crammed full of people with a man hanging out the door yelling at you to GET IN THE CAR in swahili. They drive approximately 100000 miles per hour and often feature pictures of david beckham and random english sayings such as, "Let it rain", or "Three words". Tuktuks are slightly more user friendly and they are our personal favorite. They kind of look like pedicabs but they're motorized and glorious. Most of the time on the highway we have resorted to covering our eyes and praying, especially when the driver decides it's a good idea to pass a semi truck going around a blind corner on the edge of a cliff.
Enough about traffic. We are currently keeping a running tally of the number of bubbling sunburns we (specifically Elan) have received. The score stands: Molly 1, Elan 5. It also is worthy to note that there are now literally sheets of Elan's albino flesh floating in the Indian Ocean. But that is neither here nor there.
Time. How do you even say this? Time is meaningless here. Everyone is always at least a half hour if not a full hour late, and it's perfectly culturally acceptable to set up a meeting with someone and never show up. Ever. For creatures of habit like ourselves, this doesn't really always work out, but we are trying to adapt.
So, for the past two weeks we have been in Taita, Tsavo, and now, Malindi. Taita was our rural homestay, and it was interesting to say the least. Molly had three siblings: Stanley age 23, Lydia 17, and Willikister 15. For the record, that's pronounced Will- a- keester. Elan had three siblings as well: Mavu 19, notorious womanizer, Hendry 17, also notorious womanizer, and Imelda 12. Every morning we would have breakfast with our families featuring staring contests with Stanley, butter sandwiches, and the best goddamn chai this side of the mississippi. Then we would work with the townfolk building a community library. We were valuable assets to the team when they would actually let us hold a tool for more than thirty seconds. The women of the community really put us to shame when they would work for four hours with infants on their backs. After manual labor, we went to Swahili class and lunch at the Palace until about 5, when we would maybe play a little soccer and then head home for the night. The evenings featured Willikister performing hours upon hours of solo dancing and singing, awkward tv shows such as the Bold and the Beautiful, and dinner. Eating is a whole different type of sport in Taita. You eat until you feel immense amounts of pain, and then you eat some more. Elan's family attempted to bond by putting on every American dvd they owned which consisted of: "Extravagant Grace: Women of Faith", Van Damme movies, and the Teletubbies episode in which the teletubbies eat tubby custard and lala does her secret dance... five times. Needless to say, after watching that episode of Teletubbies at least three times, Elan wants the Teletubbies to feel more pain than Van Damme's victims. One of our favorite quotes of the trip thus far was when Molly was in another room and a little neighbor girl asked her family in English and I quote: "Where the white girl at?" After being told that she was sleeping, the girl responded, "THEY SLEEP?" But as the gas station attendant said, "all you white people look the same." Cultural exchange complete. The people in Taita were really great, our families were amazing and the village was incredible and one of the most beautiful places we have ever seen. We left on Sunday, and true to form, our advisor was four hours late to pick us up because they "had cooking to do."
After Taita, we drove to Tsavo, a national park the size of Israel. Our driver stayed at a steady speed of about 90 miles an hour the whole way there on dirt roads while talking on his radio. We went on safari for two days and saw elephants, water buffalo, lions, giraffes, a cheetah, ostriches, dickdicks, elands, antelopes, zebras and many birds and baboons. The one night we stayed there, was potentially one of the more eventful nights of our lives. It started with an episode straight out of the Discovery Channel. When we got there there was a dying water buffalo that had been attacked by lions the night before stuck in a watering hole. That night, about ten lions came to the watering hole to finish the deed. However, they were suprised, as were we, when the water buffalo fought back, bum leg and all. While this was going down, all of a sudden out of nowhere, a Lion King style stampede of about 200 water buffalo came to rescue their comrade. Surprise number two occurred when they decided to cut the mission short, drink some water, bellow some bellows, and peace. The highlight of the trip was later that night drinking gin and tonics and Tusker in the pool while watching the greatest lion on lion showdown we have personally ever witnessed. Tsavo was great. Amen.
En route to Malindi, we got a flat tire and decided to do some group push ups on the highway. Our goal is 20 real push ups by the end of the trip. The score stands thus: Molly 7, Elan 4. Malindi is a touristy town right on teh coast of Kenya. It has a large Italian population, and there is actually a Little Italy (bizarre, yes?) where all the vendors yell at us in Italian. In Malindi, we visited the Gede ruins of a Swahili town, and went snorkelling yesterday where Elan desposited her flesh sheets by accident. Elan also received her fifth bubbling sunburn yesterday. She actually DID apply sunscreeen, believe it or not. Albino no mo. Red fo sho. We had another drop off today, however it was entirely...something.
We are never going to take this long to update our BLOG ever again because this was painfully long.
XOXO,
Gossip mangy cat
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Soooo......We are sorry SANA about being terrible BLOGGERS!
So we are alive in Africa by some miracle and we're having the most incredible time. Elan got to Mombasa on Saturday the 31st and Molly got to Mombasa on the first. We stayed at this awesome guest house that was right on the beach. Every morning we'd wake up at like 5:30 to go swimming in the ocean. Our guest house was right next to this mens workout place so we always ended up chatting it up with some rando Mombasa men. One man actually told one of the girls in the group that he had never seen "a more naked white woman" which is pretty sweet! While we were in Mombasa every morning we would have class in the morning and then do some sort of activity during the afternoon. One afternoon, we did this activity called the "drop off". Basically we are told specific places to go, and had to figure out some way to get there. Elan went to a childrens village called S.O.S. and Molly went to a school for children with cerebral paulsy. We also went out one night to a club in Mombasa called the Rio, it was hyphy, there were hella disco balls and a crackin dance floor, and we went with our beautiful man friend/S.I.T. employee George. But, right now we have to meet up with the group for dinner, so we'll try updating the BLOG again tomorrow about our tom foolery in Malindi, our safari in Tsavo, and our homestay in the Taita Hills.....
XOXO,
Gossip Sheep
So we are alive in Africa by some miracle and we're having the most incredible time. Elan got to Mombasa on Saturday the 31st and Molly got to Mombasa on the first. We stayed at this awesome guest house that was right on the beach. Every morning we'd wake up at like 5:30 to go swimming in the ocean. Our guest house was right next to this mens workout place so we always ended up chatting it up with some rando Mombasa men. One man actually told one of the girls in the group that he had never seen "a more naked white woman" which is pretty sweet! While we were in Mombasa every morning we would have class in the morning and then do some sort of activity during the afternoon. One afternoon, we did this activity called the "drop off". Basically we are told specific places to go, and had to figure out some way to get there. Elan went to a childrens village called S.O.S. and Molly went to a school for children with cerebral paulsy. We also went out one night to a club in Mombasa called the Rio, it was hyphy, there were hella disco balls and a crackin dance floor, and we went with our beautiful man friend/S.I.T. employee George. But, right now we have to meet up with the group for dinner, so we'll try updating the BLOG again tomorrow about our tom foolery in Malindi, our safari in Tsavo, and our homestay in the Taita Hills.....
XOXO,
Gossip Sheep
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